It was two days before I left for a semester in London. I was sitting on the couch in my basement, drinking a glass of red wine and watching re-runs of sitcoms from the 90's. I had been trying to check my phone less recently, but, in this moment, I couldn't fight the urge; I [...]
Category: Personal Essay
An Acquired Taste
I drove home from a date on the cusp of tears. I wanted to cry, but the interior flood gates remained shut. It seemed like a perfect moment to cry with the dreary scent of perfume and hairspray saturating the driver and passenger seats. The darkness weighed in and around me. An obnoxious amount of [...]
When Lipstick Fails You
The smell of hot garlic butter and shrimp traveled from the kitchen to my bedroom. It was a Sunday afternoon and I had just showered. I had just put on a grey cowl neck sweater with darker grey sweatpants. I combed and parted my wet hair, flicking droplets of shower water onto the wood floor. [...]
In New York City There is Nobody
It was the beginning of January in New York City and I couldn't think of any good reasons to get out of bed. In my defense, my mother and I were staying at The Plaza Hotel for the weekend so our bed was a chic king-size with satin pillowcases and warm cotton sheets; even the [...]
The Sadness We Demand
Some men love me. Some love me like a daughter. Some love me because I am their daughter. Some love me when I wear denim, call me blue jean baby like I’m on a bar crawl in downtown Nashville. Reduce me to my roots. Call me baby or kitty or pumpkin. Judge me by how [...]
First Impressions: Capri, Italy
There is no word for what it feels like to wake up on an island, but there should. I rested my head on Meg's shoulder, mouth-breathing and warm. The ferry's windows mocked us with their stiffness and immobility. I just wanted a breeze. I just wanted some relief from the feverish pink that doused my [...]
If you love her, I’ll see it
Tonight, everyone in my family is having dinner with someone they haven't seen in a long time. My dad and I. My mom and her best friend. My step-dad and his daughter. I don't know my brother's dinner plans for the night. His friends will probably order a pizza or maybe they'll walk to the [...]
to the first boy who didn’t love me, please forgive me
This essay was originally written for a creative writing class in 2018. We were encouraged to play with the format. Enjoy. It is a debilitating mindset: between how it should be and how it is. It should be easy like peanut butter sandwiches or peeling back the tin covering on a jar of cashews. It [...]
When Goodness Crumbles
I don’t remember how often I’d cry. Maybe two or three times a week. Tears swelled behind my eyes like a sudden pregnancy of grief. Then, equally as fast, they were gone, drained from my system as if I had felt nothing at all. I didn’t know how sad I was until I left. Thinking [...]
My mother has never been left on read
Every morning I fight the urge to check Instagram. I know I shouldn’t start my day like this, but it is difficult to combat the desire. Typically, I succumb. I unlock my phone, open the app, and begin scrolling through pictures and videos that add little value to my mind. It doesn’t take a sociologist [...]